A few days ago someone mentioned the post I wrote last year on Valentine's Day and how much they liked it. First of all, I'm honored that they not only liked it back then, but they are still thinking about it a year later. I decided for those of you who weren't following my blog (or maybe didn't read it back then), I would re-post it this year. I had to make a few updates (like my age and stuff), but this is pretty much what I said.
My
Name is Rachel, And I Am Single
I've been debating all morning if I wanted to
write this post or not. And when I say all morning, I mean since 3:30am when I
woke up and couldn't get back to sleep (blast you sinus trouble!) Even as I'm
typing all of this out, I'm not sure I'll end up publishing it. We shall see
(obviously if you are reading this, I'm publishing it). :)
I
normally keep my posts kinda silly (because I'm a silly, yet delightful
person), but today I might lean more towards my serious side (yes, I do have
one). If I was a gambling person, I would be willing to bet money that most
blog posts you read today will be talking about Valentine's Day (whether
positive or negative). At first I thought, you know what, I'm going to be the
exception and not say anything at all. I'll just do my normal "It's OK
Thursday" and not even mention it. Then last night I received texts from a
few single female friends and after talking to them about almost the exact same
thing, I changed my mind and decided to post something after all.
It's
kinda hard being single on Valentine's Day (and not for the reasons you are
thinking, hear me out). If you don't mention it at all, people think, "oh,
it's just too painful for her to talk about since she's single." If you DO
say something about how you don't really care, they think, "oh, she's just
bitter and sad because she's single." LISTEN UP PEOPLE (yeah, I'm talking
to you). Don't you realize that people can be single AND happy? I know lots of
people in relationships (dating and married) who are miserable, so don't tell
me I can only be happy when I'm in a romantic relationship.
I feel
at times singles are treated like we need to be in a support group. "Hi,
my name is Rachel. I'm 27 years old (okay, I'm really 35*, I just like to think
I still look 27), and I'm single". If you are single, you know what
I'm talking about, right? You show up at a party, a wedding, or a family
function without a date or significant other, and you feel like people are
giving you that sympathetic, "oh, I'm so sorry you are by yourself"
look. Thanks for making me feel like I have a disease.
After
texting my friends last night (we were all agreeing we keep hearing the same
things from our friends about our dating life), I decided to come up with a
list for you to consider when dealing with your single friends (this is
probably more for single ladies, but I'm sure it would apply to single guys
too). These were items that my friends and I agreed on. And I'm not saying this
applies to EVERYONE, it's just something to think about. Also, I say this with
all the love in my heart so please don't think I'm mad or saying this in a mean
or bitter way. I do love you all!
1.
Please, for the LOVE OF STEVE AVERY, stop saying, "You are such a great
person and a wonderful 'catch', I don't understand how you are
single." You know what, I am an AWESOME person, you
don't have to tell me that. I already know it. I love sports, action movies,
and can cook 8 meals not using a microwave- what's not to love? I AM a big deal
(I mean, I DO have 1520** followers on Twitter- people who don't even know me
like me). I know you think you are being encouraging when you say that, but you
know what, you aren't. So please, stop.
2. If
you have a single guy friend you want to introduce me to, first of all, please
don't make it awkward and have a one-on-one meeting. Have a party or get
together where there are other people there so it's not obvious we are both
single and you are trying to set us up. That makes it uncomfortable for both
parties involved. Second, just because he's single and has a pulse doesn't mean
we are going to hit it off, so don't be offended if I don't like your friend
(or vice versa).
3.
Don't tell me I'm being "too picky" when it comes to guys. Now, I
have accepted the fact that I'm not going to end up with Craig Gentry or Ryan
Gosling (I'm a little sad about it, but I've accepted it), but I do have things
I'm not willing to negotiate on when it comes to my dating relationships.
You
know my faith is very important to me (if you didn't know it, you know it now).
If he doesn't love the Lord, it's not going to work. I can tell you that right
now. He can be the sweetest and nicest [insert religion or non-religion here]
out there, but I just know from my past dating relationships, if we don't agree
on our faith, there is no point in even trying. I'm not trying to sound snobby
when I say that, so please don't read that as me being conceited or that I
think only Christian guys are worthy of dating me, I'm not saying that at all.
I've dated some Christian guys who were really NOT worthy of dating me (but
that's a story for another day). I just know when it comes to ME, faith is THE big
thing. I could accept the fact that he doesn't like country music, or Dr
Pepper, or even if he wasn't a Texas Rangers fan (although that would make
baseball season very awkward for us). :) That being said, don't think just
because he goes to church that means we are going to hit it off. If Christians
just needed to find another single Christian and they would immediately fall in
love, there would be no single groups at churches. :)
4. If
you haven't seen me in a while, please don't ask, "so, are you dating
anyone?" If I'm dating someone (and if I want you to know I'm dating
someone), I'll let you know, trust me. That being said, yes, I've dated and
haven't talked about it on my blog or updated Facebook about it. I'll let you
know when I'm ready to let you know. I even dated a guy close to a year that my
family and some friends never knew about (I'm pretty sure that statement is
going to open a can of worms next time I see people). Seriously, ask me
questions like "what's new?", "anything interesting going on in
your life?", "Has Craig Gentry put a restraining order out against
you yet?" etc. If I'm dating and ready to tell you, I will.
5. One
of my friends last night was dealing with this situation and she knew I could
relate. Please don't criticize my morals and what I do (or in this case, DON'T
do) in my dating relationships. I respect your beliefs/morals and how you live
your life, please respect mine and don't tell me I'm crazy for it.
This
wasn't meant to call anyone out or to sound like I don't appreciate your
concerns about my life (because I do), but again, I feel at times married
people (or even people in dating relationships) all of a sudden forget they
were ever single and they are now the expert in what you should and shouldn't
do. Think back to when you were single and ask yourself if you would have
wanted someone to say or do that to you, that's all.
Okay,
I'm off my soapbox. I really hope that didn't offend anyone. It was not my
intention at all. I hope you are still with me, thanks for reading. I do hope
that you all have a great Valentine's Day (whether you are single, married,
dating, etc). Just think- tomorrow all Valentine's Day candy is marked down
50%. :)
XOXO!!
**Changed from 1307 to 1520 Twitter followers
0 XOXO's:
Post a Comment